Thursday, April 21, 2016

# bipolar 2 # bipolar disorder

Hoarding Update

Three posts in one week! We're all going to get spoiled if I keep this up! It's been a while since I posted here about the house and what it's been like so I decided that it might be time to give y'all a bit of an update.

I'm not going to lie. I haven't done much over the past couple of weeks. I had hopes of a massive kitchen clean up over the boys' spring break, but life just plain got in the way. Their grandparents were in town (at their dad's house) and then I went out of town for the convention at the end of that week. In the middle, it was just plain busy. Then, when I got back from the convention, I had a bit of an emotional crash that took a bit to recover from.

That all sounds super negative, doesn't it? I promise that I'm not writing this post to bring you all down because absolutely nothing got done. Things have, just slower than I had hoped. Ben went into the kitchen one day and just did 5 minutes of tidying up. Both boys made a conscious effort to make sure that trash went into the trash and that things got put away. I've been incredibly proud of them for how they've jumped on board and are working with me to keep things going.

As for me? Well, I have a tiny bit of news. Tomorrow we have a plumber coming to look at the kitchen drain. It hasn't drained properly at all for over 2 years and not at all for the past 6 months or so. Some of you may recall that I was doing dishes in my bathtub. Then, the hot water stopped working a few months ago. I've been snagging showers at the community center and we've gone to all paper products for eating. It's also meant that I haven't been able to properly cook because I couldn't do dishes afterwards. It's been rough on all of us, but there hasn't been anything that we could really do about it due to finances and the state that the house was in.

Well, two days ago, Justin called and found a plumber who could come out to the house tomorrow. For me, that meant that the living room, kitchen, and laundry room had to be in good enough states
that the plumber could come in and access anything that he needed to and that I wouldn't have a complete meltdown over having him in the house. I'll admit it. I looked around and had a minor panic attack. Everywhere I looked, I saw something that needed to be done. The living room needed cleaning, the laundry room needed to be swept and to have the litter boxes changed and on and on and on the list went in my head.

But, guess what! It's just before 2pm the day before the plumber will be here (between 8 and 10am) and I'm relaxed on my couch, a candle lit, and Deadliest Catch running off the dvr. Why? Because I walked into the kitchen and in 5 minutes had the left side sink cleared and the new bookshelf box moved out of the way. I walked into the living room and in 20 minutes had everything tidied up and the floor swept. I walked into the laundry room and in 15 minutes or so had the floor swept, the litter boxes changed, and any/all litter mess cleaned up. I even cracked open the window in there and lit a candle to help with that icky cat litter smell that happens sometimes.

Did you do the math? In less than an hour, I had those three rooms at a level that I don't care if he walks into them. Sure, the dining alcove is still a disaster and we haven't touched the office/studio.
Oh well. I will. This is a journey..and each and every step counts. Each and every step is a step towards reclaiming this house, reclaiming my life and making a better world for myself and my boys. The best part? I've proven to myself that the work I started 4 months ago has been mostly maintained. I didn't backslide to a point where I wasn't 15-20 minutes from clean.

Earlier today I told a friend that I was ashamed to say that I hadn't been properly cooking for my family because of how I'd let the house get. I realize now that I was looking at things from my as usual skewed bipolar lens... Even when things are at their worst, nobody went hungry around here. It may not have been the healthiest food, but I made sure there was food and even if it was just throwing it on a cookie sheet, I "cooked". Two days ago, I looked around this living room and felt horrible about the way it looked. Turns out that it really wasn't all that bad. I need to remember the hours that I've put in and the changes that I've made. I'm happy to report that I'm doing okay and to give you a little sneak peek at my upcoming house plans...

Upcoming Goals:
1. Finish the dining alcove
2. Build/get the new bookshelf into place
3. Put the old bookshelf out by the curb for trash (unless someone snags it)
4. Clear the front porch & paint it
5. Repaint the front porch benches
6. Mow/trim the lawn and pick up any brush/trash that has arrived during the winter (this weekend!)
7. Repaint the tire planters
8. Refill the tire planters
9. Reclaim one flower bed
10. Start my seeds
11. Get a start on the "wall" aka the office/studio

Those are my goals for between now and the start of June. Will they all get done? Maybe, maybe not but we'll be doing them as we're able and before you know it, I'll have some new pictures to share with everyone! Keep your fingers crossed that the plumber can get the work done for $300 because that's the budget! If so, dishes will be on the agenda for this weekend too!


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