Thursday, July 31, 2014

# bipolar 2 # bipolar disorder

Life: Sometimes You Have to Live it

It's been a long time since I wrote about anything personal here. I bet some of you have noticed that. Others of you may just be used to coming here for book reviews. Tonight though, I write about myself and my life and I hope that you'll read it with as much love as you do my other posts.

I love quotes. Even on my worst days, it's not uncommon to find me looking for new quotes on a variety of subjects. Tonight, I came across the one posted in the graphic and it made me stop and think about my life and my daily struggles. It was just about 14 months ago that I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. Let me tell you that those words brought the strongest combination of fear and relief that I think I've had since Ben was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.  I finally had a name for what I was going through. With a name, maybe I could find a battle strategy..

Battle..seems like a word that's saved for things like cancer, doesn't it? I guess I was just gung ho about reclaiming my life from something that had been stealing it from me. It took me nearly a year to come to terms with the fact that it would never go away. There is no cure. It is and always will be a part of my regular life. It's taken a year, but slowly I'm taking back my life.

For the first time in probably about four years, my kitchen is nearly scrubbed back to immaculate. My bathroom and laundry room are both about 15-20 minutes away from company ready. My living room is still cluttered, but I'm making progress on it. If you remember, hoarding tendencies came along for the ride so the fact that you can easily navigate the downstairs is a huge deal.

Is life perfect? Oh goodness no, but it's so much better than it was. I've accepted that daily medication is going to be a part of my life for a long time, if not forever. Yes, there will be time when we have to adjust it and yes, the weight that it's helped me to put on will be a fight to get off. However, neither of those things are end of the world things for me anymore. I can accept them, take a deep breath and get back to my life of being a mother, a writer and an editor.

Want to know the best part? I'm feeling strong enough these days that I've reached out to a friend in the blogging world about getting back into writing. I've also reached out to someone in the comic industry about potentially doing some show travelling this next year. Who knows...I might even start getting a small income to help us catch up and get ahead again!


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