Monday, June 25, 2012

Comic Book Review:God the Dyslexic Dog

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I know it's been a while since I've brought you a review, but have no fear, I'm back with something new and different for you. Strap on your what the heck seat belts and prepare yourself for God the Dyslexic Dog. According to their website, this book summarizes as:


What if everything you believed was reversed? Inverted?

Imagine a world, where the gods created by man, are all but abandoned. The gods, in their desperation, have now become the deities of the animals of earth. They now seek to over-throw both heaven and earth from their former masters, man, in their last ditch effort for survival.
Enter the Dyslexic Dog. An ordinary dog that’s only beginning to understand how extraordinary he really is. A dog who is a god? On a leash? Under the reluctant control of one little boy.
Throw in an immortal god with suicidal aspirations & his nation of rowdy revelers; conspiracy internet & radio; time travel ; the end of the world coming in 2011 via the missing Mayan Calendar; Pandora’s Box; a Pet Psychic who is anything but; the god Dar-win & his Evolution running wild; inept world governments? And so much more.
God the Dyslexic Dog takes all this and runs, turning everything on its head, giving the book a chance to explore, experiment and entertain in ways few others can. So, buy the ticket, take the ride and see what all the howling is about and if your family pet has been looking at you a little strangely, watch out!



My take on it? Well, let's break it down like we always do.

The Good: Different. That's the first thing that comes to mind every time I've picked up this book. In all the books that I've read for fun or for a review (which is also fun, I admit), I've not picked up a single book like this. There were no zombies or vampires or super heroes. Just pages and pages of what the heck is going on now.

The Bad: I found this book just the tiniest bit difficult to follow, but I am going to be up front and say that I read this very late at night when my brain was probably not at its best. The second night I picked it up, I was far more awake and I didn't have that problem at all. So, the bad? Don't read it when you're tired and can't focus on the story line.

The Summary: If you're into something that's a bit out of the norm and has some really cool artwork, this book may be something you want to track down. I loved the mention of sciency things mixed with mythology and all combined into a mixture of the creation story and the gods of man.

This was the first trade paperback for this series. It's come to my attention that there is a second one. I'm hoping to be able to review it for you and let y'all know about the series as a whole. No promises though!


Interested in checking out or purchasing God the Dyslexic Dog for yourself? Head on over to the book's website and check out this book, as well as the others that they have to offer.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Why I Don't Have Local Friends

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Some of you may know that I have problems with making and keeping friends. This isn't a new issue. It's been something I've struggled with for a lot of years. It's something that has once again reared its head and something I've spent a lot of time thinking about.

Justin, more than once, has pointed out how much of a people person I am and how people like me and yet he couldn't understand why I don't really have friends. It's been pointed out by others the past couple of days with comments like, "I've seen how you are with people." and "People love you." I love people too. I'm just terribly afraid of them.

So here, in my safe place, I'm going to share my thoughts on why I don't have friends. If you choose to comment, please choose to comment out of love and for no other reason. This post is for me. It's my chance to explore and I'm trusting all of you enough to share that process with you.

For as long as I can remember, I haven't had more than one or two close friends. Even going back so far as elementary or middle school, I can only remember having one close friend at a time. My fear of rejection was already firmly in place, even if I didn't realize it.

You see, I've lived a life of feeling replaced and unwanted. It started with my parents. When they divorced, they handed my sister and I to my grandparents and walked away. It wasn't for any good reason, just that they couldn't be bothered being parents anymore. Then, growing up, my grandparents babied my sister and my mother actually chose to raise my brother. I wasn't the important one to anyone.

Fast forward to middle school. For most of elementary school, I only remember having one close friend. Her name was Kim and when we got to middle school, she made new friends (like kids do) and I felt left out and replaced and unwanted. So, I made friends with Mike and we were best friends from then until we graduated high school. Then, I went off to college and Mike started hanging out with Jana and even he admitted later that she replaced me because he missed me. The bad part of that? I didn't have a new best friend..I was on the outside again.

Fast forward to my marriage and let's just say I felt very easily replaced. I've lived my whole life feeling as if I am easily replaced. Because of this, I've built up this defense mechanism that doesn't allow me to see that people really like me. I lived in Buffalo for two years and it wasn't until I was leaving that I realized that people were actually going to miss me. Rob and nickle loved me for two years but we didn't become friends until I left because I never realized.

Over the past couple of days, I've been encouraged and pushed..yes, pushed..by some of those closest to me to attend an event where there'd be a chance for me to meet local people and to maybe make some friends. My answer was simple. I don't want local friends. I like the friends that I have. I know that to some that sounds ridiculous. How could someone not want local friends? The answer is simple. Fear.

Because of my past, I have a hard time letting people get close to me. When people start to, I instinctively and subconsciously start to pull back. Please believe me when I say it's not intentional. I am so afraid of being hurt, rejected or replaced, that I pull back before anyone can do that to me. The thing is...I'm still hurt because in my messed up way, I see it as the other person pulling away.

Then, on the rare occasion, that I either let someone get close..or like in the case of Walter, they somehow slide past the barriers without me realizing, I become terribly possessive of that friendship. I'm so scared that someone else will come along and replace me that I can't seem to easily or willingly share that person with others new people. Prior friends are ok, but I see each and every new person, especially if they're female, as a threat. In the end, I really believe that this perceived threat combined with "x" spending time with someone new must mean that they love me less ends up driving people away.

It was pointed out to me today that just because people meet new friends, spend time with other people, etc doesn't mean that I've done something wrong. The sad part is that while my head knows that's logically true, my heart doesn't get it. My heart and my head rarely agree on things. My heart is that little voice inside my head that says what did you do now? What is wrong with you that you can't keep your friends interested in being your friends? It's the part of me that's been hurt so many times that doesn't want to let anyone new in but desperately wants to hold onto those that it loves.

Those in my life know that this mellows with time. Over time, as their behavior towards me doesn't change just because new people come in, I calm down and am far closer to normal..It's those new friendships that run the risk of me scaring the bejeebers out of the person and them running for the hills.

It's been said of me, by someone who has known me over 15 years, that when I love, I love unconditionally and that I would do absolutely anything for someone that I love. He said that the problem is that most people aren't like that. Most people have an inherent selfish streak and when that comes up, I don't know how to handle it because I judge people off of what I would do and there are so very few people in the world that are like me.  I'm sensitive to changes and I overthink them and I panic. Those who can roll with that and reassure me and tell me they love me..those are the ones that stay. Those who can't, walk away. As someone who can't walk away, I'm crushed each and every time this happens.

In the end, making new friends means putting my heart at risk again. It means needing people and not knowing how to tell them what it is I need or make them understand why I am the way that I am. People frequently look at my family and say how did you turn out so normal? The truth is..I didn't. I'm as messed up as any of them. It's just that my messed up is internal while theirs is there for all the world to see. By keeping people out, they don't see how messed up I really am.

I know that this isn't healthy, but it is who I am. Last night, I walked into a new group of people that I had never met because those who love me reassured me that if I needed to, I could walk away. For those who have stuck with me and rolled with the neediness, the possessiveness and the moments of fear and panic, there aren't enough words to thank you. I hope that you know how much it means to me to have some amazing people as friends. I frequently feel as if I don't deserve you or question how anyone so incredible could love me, but somehow you do and here you are.

For the person who I feel as if has pulled away from me because he has a new friend...I'm sorry. I really and truly don't want to feel the way that I do and I try to fight it for you. Somehow, you snuck past the barriers and you're different. As those who have gotten past those barriers before you and who I've spoken to about you..they'll all tell you that you're something different in my life. I'm terrified, plain terrified, of losing that and of losing you and it's causing me to act out. I promise that if you hang in there, it does get easier. It's probably never easy to be my friend..but I hope that the rewards are worth the effort.

For the new people who may come into my life..all I can say is that you've been warned. As for will I make new friends? I can't honestly say. I went last night and it was a huge first step for me. I think I'll go back again next month and see what happens next...

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Life and Love and Me

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So, that was a short lived hiatus, wasn't it? The truth is that I missed people even if they didn't miss me. I missed seeing what was happening in people's lives and talking with them, even if it were just through the internet. I know some would say that I wasn't gone long enough for anyone to miss me and maybe that's the truth. Maybe it's not. After all, there are those that I speak to online every day or via text every day and I still miss them. I miss their physical presence in my life. I miss being able to reach out and touch them or to hug them or to kiss them. I miss looking in their eyes when we speak and seeing the love and affection there. So, just because you're online or on a phone doesn't mean you can't be missing the person.

I came across this graphic the other day and it said in ways that I haven't been able to what I've been going through. It's fairly common knowledge that I'm the girl who is always trying to make sure that everyone around her is happy. It's also known, at least to me, that I don't know how to say I need you..or help...I have friends, real and true friends, scattered all over the globe, but I'm afraid to ask if I can come see them, if I can spend time with them because deep down I know how much I need that connection and what if they say no? People know when I'm down or when I'm up. I don't really try to hide that but sometimes, maybe I do hide just how down or just how much I need something or someone.

So, to all of you who know me and who love me, take this graphic to heart. Reach out to me and reach out to those other happy makers in your life. You never know when your words or your hug might be the thing that makes someone's day. I know, for me personally, that when my phone rings with an unplanned phone call from a friend, it makes a huge difference in my day. It feels good to know that someone is out there missing you or thinking about you. Receiving a random text message that says I love you (yes, with the I..not the casual love you or love ya) or some other silly sweet thing can put a smile on my face but nothing beats hearing someone tell you that they love you and care about you or want you in their lives forever.

I should get off here though. I have a bathroom to clean and a dinner to get ready for..Yes, that's right..I'm actually leaving my house to go be social with a bunch of strangers. Wish me luck! I leave you with this thought..one I've been thinking a lot about:

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.

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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Hiatus

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I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking a bit of an internet break. Lately, the internet and I haven't been so much friends as two individuals staring at each other while wondering how we got to where we are. I need a break. I need to heal. I need to find myself in everything. I've spent the past year trying to make everyone else happy and I've forgotten what it's like to be happy myself.

No, that's not quite true. I had a taste of happiness a few weeks ago and since then, everything has changed for me and I'm struggling with what it all means. I'm struggling with the pains of seeing the world differently and watching things that I held impossibly dear crumbling away like they never existed.

So, for now, my dear readers, I'm taking a leave from all of you. It's not forever. I suspect it won't be more than a week or so but I know you can live your amazing lives without me. Be strong and be awesome. Remember that words can have the power to build a person up or tear them apart. Remember that words are powerful, whether they're spoken out loud, written on paper or seen on a screen. It's the loss of those words that I'm struggling against.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Phoenix Comicon : The Rest of the Story

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The other day I told you all about my first day at the Phoenix Comicon. Since then and even before then, I've been trying to figure out how to tell you all about the other days. You see, there were some good, some bad, some amazing and some eye opening moments that weekend but so much of it is still so tangled up inside of me that I'm not sure what to even say about it. I'm going to do my darndest to give you a good taste of what really is an amazing con but please forgive me if it's not my usual joyful bubbling.

Friday -
Friday..oh Friday..I woke up early because I had decided to surprise Walter by meeting him at the airport. Justin stayed behind at the hotel to try to figure out just how my corset was supposed to be laced. Meeting up with Walter was pure amazing. It was the first time in my life that I wasn't worried or nervous about meeting someone. Turns out I was right, him and I just fit together somehow. After grabbing the shuttle back to the hotel, it was off to breakfast, a quick stop at Target and then on to the con!

We got there with a bit of time to spare before the one and only panel I managed to attend started. Since there was only 20 minutes or so, though, we decided to just go sit in the room and wait. I kind of dragged Walter along with me (What? I had good intentions..his friends would be doing the panel plus he's cute and I didn't want to let him wander off and make plans with anyone else! Yeah, I'm greedy..it's been established.) but he really didn't want to be in there so eventually, we agreed that he'd go find Mike and meet up with me after the panel was done. Justin and I enjoyed the panel..it was typical Raven and Andy silliness which always makes me laugh. I was amused when the moderator wanted me to say something and Raven was like umm no..that other girl, call on her. You'd think he'd heard my side of things or something....


For the record, since Raven wouldn't let me speak, here's my take:

1. Skynet involves nukes. Nukes create zombies. Both apocalypse happen together. I'm screwed.
2. Zombies are like ants. You won't be safe out on the water. They'll just keep plunging in until they form a zombie road.

After the panel, Walter was totally true to his word and we met up. Justin decided to stay upstairs for another panel so we headed down to the show floor. That's when I goofed things up...fast forward a while...Got to meet up with Ross and give him his surprise. That part was fun. I also picked up some new goodies, also good.

Saturday -
.....Umm...Geek Prom! Yes, we attended Geek Prom! After a really hard day, Walter agreed to attend with Justin and I and I am so, so, so glad that he did. The event was different but it looked like everyone was having a lot of fun. It was good to be able to watch some real silliness happening. Even if you're not into dancing to geeky music, I recommend this event. It's fantastic for people watching. If I'm lucky enough to attend next year, I'll be attending this again..it's a fun event plus the proceeds go to a great charity.

Sunday -
Poor Justin wasn't feeling so good on Sunday so he pretty much left Walter and I alone to wander the con floor, seeing friends and me frantically doing things I should have done the other days. People love Walter and it made me smile to see them light up when he'd come around. I can't blame them..he showed me what it was like to be really happy again. That's all I'm going to say on that.

Walter and I did a bit of last minute shopping and a lot of last minute talking and for me, wishing that the weekend wasn't coming to an end. There was so much more that we could have seen and experienced, but I have no regrets, just things to look forward to next year.

So while this is probably the worst con write up ever, I hope that you guys understand that it's not the fault of the event itself. The event is amazingly well organized and well run. The exhibitor floor was filled with fantastic artists, writers and companies. The panels were varied and there was something for everyone, no matter what your interest. My weekend was amazing but not because of the con and it's because of that, I can't do this event justice with this post. I promise to do better next year..

For now, I'm going to leave you with this rather bad picture of two people who found each other that weekend and who I consider to be very, very lucky...as he put it best, he's my best friend and somehow something more.



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Saturday, June 9, 2012

Phoenix Comicon 2012 : Day 1

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This is it. The post some of you have been waiting nearly two weeks for! I'm finally writing about my trip to Phoenix. I warn you that it wasn't all pretty but in the end, it was all amazing. I will also warn you that all pictures on this post (and upcoming posts) were totally and blatantly stolen from my friend, Andy Bohn. Why? Well because I was distracted the entire weekend and typical me...next to no pictures. Read on and find out as I give you my day by day summary of Phoenix Comicon 2012 with random photos thrown in for good measure!

Thursday - Hereby known as Katrina was exhausted day. I was up at 4am after being up until 1am. After a drive to the airport, luck was with me! Note that I said after because during, my cigarette lighter portal thingy (I'm working on copywriting that, by the way.) decided to fall right into the console on my van. Awesome, huh? Well, my luck changed at the airport. I not only found the parking lot easily, but the shuttle van saw me pull in and came to me instead of me hauling bags to him! Woo! I got inside, got checked in nice and easy and even got skipped to the head of the security line (thank you costume cane!). The flight was smooth and even though I had a 3 month old behind me and an 18 month in front of me, no problems. Justin met me at the airport and we were off! Since our hotel was nearby, we decided to stop in and see when we could check in. Awesomesauce hotel (Airport Radisson) let us check in 5 hours early! We had a quick lunch in their restaurant..the food was good but the service a bit slow..and then up to the room to unpack and grab a quick nap. After the nap, it was up to the con! I bet you thought I'd never get there, right? Check in was nice and easy as soon as we figured out where we had to go. I didn't end up with a press badge (yes, I did sulk for a bit.) but a media badge. I guess I'm just not quite big enough yet for them to give me the almighty press badge. It's ok though because I saw the list and very few people got the press badge. There were lots of us media types though!

So, here's where we waited...and waited...and then found comfy chairs and watched other people wait. I kid you not that there were thousands of people standing around just waiting for the doors to open so that they could get in. I never expected that kind of turn out for a preview night! It was really cool to see. After the doors opened and the door crowd thinned, Justin and I headed in and looked around for friends. We spotted Andy...


 We also saw Alfred (here with Andy)...


Let's see, there was also Raven (here with Andy and Eric (Ebas)...

I got a half hug from Raven which hopefully next time will be a bit more enthusiastic but as usual the man was too distracted and I'm still not convinced he knows who I am between times seeing me, no matter what others claim.

Oh, I almost forgot, speaking of hugs...I saw these guys!

This is Brett and Mike! Brett is awesomesauce wrapped in bacon. I got fabulous hugs from him and I think maybe an oh hi from Mike. That's ok. Mike and I had never met in person and he was super busy setting up his table. If you don't know his art, well you ought to and I hereby expect you to go explore.

I'm trying to remember (this is what happens when I wait two weeks..though I promise I had good reasons!) who else we got the chance to see...Ooh...I know!

Ross! We saw Ross of Ross Demma Art who is also utterly fantastic..and while I gave him a bunch of money, I think I missed some stuff he had on other nights/days of the con. I'm sure he'll happily fix that for me though.


At some point, I was still super tired so I think we went back to the hotel..I think..I do remember coming back downtown to have...No wait! I remember! We went upstairs to find Eric! Since he'd sent me his schedule before the con, I knew where to find him and it was kind of funny. He looked right through me until I made some smarty pants remark, then he knew just who was standing in front of him. We tried to sort out dinner, but in his typical vague (and loveable way), he'd forgotten all about it! In the end, we did get to meet up with him and a couple of his friends for pizza and then some time over at the Captain's Cantina event. I got to be Eric's guinea pig for some new camera doohickey which resulted in this..what may be the only picture of me at the con: 

EF_Thurs_2012_15


Do you see how green I was? That's from that crazy necklace I'm wearing. Someone at the con gave it to me and that's what it did! Insane! It took me two days to scrub all the green off. I could have shot Eric when I saw this picture over on the con's Flickr page.



So, since this post is my photo filled fun time extravaganza post, I close it out that I got a fantastic good night hug from Eric and then we headed back to our hotel..it was late and the next morning would be early but all in all..Thursday was wonderful...

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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Quaker Soft Baked Bars

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This post brought to you by Quaker Oats. All opinions are 100% mine.

QSBB 3D Carton Banana.jpg (2 documents, 2 total pages) Dude, I so shouldn't write blog posts before breakfast! Especially not ones as delicious as this one. I just learned about the Quaker Soft Baked Bar. Do you know about these? I didn't until as of 5 minutes ago and I've already decided that I need to get myself to a grocery store to check these out. Right now, they come in two flavors..Cinnamon Pecan Bread and Banana Nut Bread. 

I so badly want my fingers (and mouth) on some of those Banana Nut Bread ones. Yummy! In fact, I think I'm going to pick up a box and empty it into my carry on bag for my trip next week! Yay! I just found a new yummy travel food. These will be perfect considering when I leave the house it will be way too early for breakfast and what's better than banana nut bread for breakfast? Very little, I tell you. Very little.

Of course, I'm going to have to hide them from the kids. If they get wind of a new delicious food in the house, I will never have any left to take with me. Maybe I'll buy them a box, as well. Aren't I a nice mom? hehe...

What I won't tell them is that these are not only a delicious breakfast snack but also a wholesome food.  Each bar actually contains 5g of Fiber and 6g of Protein. Just don't tell the kids, right?

Right. I have to go now. The grocery store is calling. I just saw this picture and can't wait another minute. See you soon! I'm off to the store! 

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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Post...

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It was just after midnight on Wednesday morning..or was it Tuesday night? Did it really matter? What matters is the post. The post that started everything all over again. The post that had the internet humming with rumors and theories. The post..the post that one man made to one woman that simply said I love you Katrina.

They thought they had stopped the rumors, but with those four little words, they all started up again. This time, they were even more intense. It went beyond the rumors that they were in love, that she was moving to be with him. As the days went on, they grew more wild. There were the rumors that they were a couple, that they were engaged, that she carried his con child, that their appearance at geek prom together was some sort of sign...

Things just got worse when new appliances started showing up at his house. Surely this was the sign that everyone had been waiting for. Everyone knew that men never bought appliances. This must mean that a woman was coming to live there soon and who else could it be but the mother of his con child?

The internet waited, watching as day after day went by. They carefully scrutinized each and every one of their Facebook posts, talking in secret about what was so clearly going on. If she posted that she wasn't feeling good, they nodded their heads in sage understanding. It must be morning sickness. Having a con baby was a lot like catching the con crud, they murmured among themselves.

If he posted anything about being sad, they whispered how must he must be missing her and it was only a matter of time now. He obviously would be concerned with the health of her and the child. If there were posts of joy and happiness, it was clear that things were going well and the announcements would be made any day now...

He had said he loved her and she loved him. It was only a matter of time now, they told in their secret groups and messages. They placed bets upon which day the child would be born and the announcement of their marriage made. Together, they planned out the lives of two people..who at the end of the day, merely loved each other.

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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Comic Book Review: Soul Chaser Betty

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Oh Chicago..the city that sent me home loads of reviews and a few new friends to boot. I will forever look upon that trip with fondness. I was beyond tired but at the same time, the people there treated me so well. I'm seriously considering making up a con listing for cons I want to continue or try to attend and Chicago will be on that list for 2013.

So, enough about me. I should probably tell you about the book, eh? This was one of the very few books that I actually paid real actual money for. Yep, that's right. This guy was so smooth (and I was so tired) that he actually talked me into not only purchasing the book but also reviewing it. Those of you who know me from the "business" point of view know that he pulled off a major coup.

The Synopsis:

Staying the entire summer at her eccentric grandmother's po-dunk farmhouse isn't Betty's idea of a good time.  But things soon go from bad to worse when renegade necromancers and exiled chaos demons begin invading her dreams, and then her reality.  Suddenly, making new friends, the local bully and the haunted woods out back are the least of her worries...

What's a girl to do?

Join Betty, a cross dimensional bundle of trouble, as she enlists with a secret group of warriors known as the Soul Chasers.  With her new partner, Rolf, she'll learn to fight back against the forces of darkness that are bent on shattering the barrier between the world we know and the dark land of dream.

Will she be able to wield the true power of a Soul Chaser?  Or will this be the worst summer vacation ever?


The Good - 
This is one of those stories that you'll pick up and go hmm..then you'll turn another page and another page and another page and before you know it, you'll have read through 167 pages and the book is all done. I should know. Before last night, I'd only read the first 50 pages or so. Last night, I picked this back up and didn't put it back down until I read through the entire story, concept art and the biography about the author. The art, combined with the story line, pulls you in. Did I mention that the art and story were both done by the same guy? The book is done entirely in black and white, yet his grey scale is what sets this apart from so many of the other black and white books that I've seen lately.

The Bad -
My one and only complaint comes from the mommy point of view. While I don't recall it ever being stated in the book, my guess is that Betty is perhaps 16 or 17 years old. There is a mention at the end of the book about her going to school with two other characters in the Fall and that she's staying with her grandmother because her parents are getting divorced. This leads me to believe that she's not old enough to be living on her own. Considering that, I found it concerning that the author/artist felt the need to draw Betty wearing some pretty scanty outfits in a couple of sections of the book.

The Summary -
Another good book from someone out of the Chicago area. If Phoenix isn't careful, they're going to have a rival in my really cool place comic folk come from theory. This one retails for $14.95 but at its size, it's well worth the price. Soul Chaser Betty will pull you in, waiting to see if this teenage girl can save us all from certain doom. Is it just me or is it fun to say certain doom? It might just be me. What isn't just me is the love for a redheaded girl with a kick butt weapon. How do I know this? I just do because I know that if you go and pick this book up, you're going to love it too.

If you want to check out this book for yourself, it can be purchased on Amazon, Twilight Tangent or by walking into your local comic book store and requesting that they order DEC084285 from Diamond. 
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I actually purchased a copy of this book for the purpose of this review! Can you believe that? The author on this book is a great salesman plus I was falling over tired when I approached his table. Warning, it's like going to the grocery store while hungry..avoid this man if you're tired and have money to spend! Just kidding...kinda! Go on..go buy this book. You can thank me later. 
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