Thursday, November 4, 2010

# change # life

No Time Like Today

Failure is something that I think most people are afraid of. Failure is something most of us accuse ourselves of on a regular basis. I know that it's something I deal with almost daily.  I look around my house and I tell myself that I'm a failure as a housekeeper. I read other people's blogs and I think I'm a failure as a blogger because I don't write every single day and it's not mind blowingly brilliant like the things people repost on Facebook. I tell myself that I'm a failure...or not the best...parent because I can't give my children everything that I think they deserve.

Then, I stop. I realize that this is the worst kind of thing I can do to myself. Talk about a horrible self-fulfilling prophesy in the making. If I believe these things, I will become these things. As you may have noticed from this blog, I've done a lot of soul searching and some soul finding lately. I realized what I've been doing to myself. That's right, to myself. I'm not blaming a single other person. I chose to let their words hurt me. I chose to let their actions affect me. My decisions, my fault.

It's ok, though. I forgive myself. Now, it's time to move on. Part of what I realized is that yesterday is just that. It's yesterday. It's the past. It's gone. Was it perfect? Nope. Will today be? Probably not. Nothing is perfect. That's ok though because I'm not looking for perfection. I'm looking for progress. I'm looking for growth. I'm looking for a smile and a laugh and a renewal of joy. The best part? I'm finding it. I'm forgiving myself for the past and focusing on today.

That's right. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month or even next year. Just today. Why? Because today is right now. Today is the day that I'm living in. Today is the day where I smile while I'm doing dishes because I'm blessed to have dishes to do and food to dirty those dishes. I can't change yesterday and I can't live tomorrow right now.

As FlyLady would say, I'm not behind. I just need to jump in where I'm at. Only I can make the changes within myself and those changes will make me a better mom, a better person and a much happier girl. Life is hard sometimes but it doesn't have to be a miserable experience. I don't have all the money I want or heck, even need. I don't have all of the cool new gadgets or toys and that's ok. I have something even better. I have a smile. I have a laugh. I have friends who love me. I have two of the most incredible boys in the world. I have today.


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